Except Your Mortgage

“I give a damn if a fan recall my legacy, I’m trying to live my life in the sight of God’s memory.” – Mos Def, “Thieves in the Night”

I was recently visiting my cousin and her newborn son, who was knocked out in his mother’s arms a majority of time, and we found ourselves choosing HBO after watching HGTV for awhile. “What Happens in Vegas” starring Ashton Kutcher and Cameron Diaz had just started playing and my cousin wanted to watch it because she enjoyed the movie. In one of the early scenes of the film, Jack played by Kutcher has a brief sexual encounter with a woman that seems to be what some would call a “friend with benefits.” Afterwards before she leaves Jack’s apartment, the woman tells him something along the lines of him not being the monogamous type and he proudly replies “I pride myself on that” with a smile on his face. I shook my head and looked over at my cousin’s newborn son sleeping soundly. I wondered what he will pride himself on in the future, knowing his values will be at the foundation at every decision he will make as an adult including how he spends his money.

Chicago salon owner and shoe collector Melo Rosario spends his money on his sneaker collecting hobby. Featured in CNBC’s 2008 documentary on Nike, Rosario discussed his love for sneakers with CNBC reporter Darren Rovell (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nHghbISdRHA). Rosario owns over 350 pairs of sneakers which Rovell credited to Rosario’s “obsession” with his sneaker collection that he spends $1000-2000 a month on. When asked how much of his disposable income was spent on shoes at the height of his “craze,” Rosario said “All of it except for my mortgage.” I am not criticizing Rosario’s hobby or “obsession” of adding to his sneaker collection nor anyone else who has hobbies like these because I have a collection of my own: CDs. I can relate to the pride that Rosario displayed when he was showing his collection to Rovell because I felt the same way when people would look at my collection and complement my taste in music. Like Rosario prided himself on his sneakers, I prided myself on my music.

Dictionary.com defines pride as a high or ordinate opinion of one’s own dignity, importance, merit or superiority; a becoming or dignified sense of what is due to oneself or one’s position or character; pleasure or satisfaction taken in something done by or belonging to oneself or believed to reflect credit upon oneself. Rosario didn’t make the 350+ pairs of shoes he owns nor did I make or record the music that I was prideful about so why should I feel so prideful about it since it was not my music? Even though the people you surround with may harbor these beliefs and our culture may promote otherwise, the fact is knowing every Gucci Mane lyric, owning material things like shoes, having sexual escapades, and anything else along these lines does not contribute to one’s dignity, importance, merit or character. We can find pleasure and satisfaction in these things, but should being lovers of pleasure be at the height of what we pride ourselves on?

I find it hard to believe that any of us were put on this Earth for those things to be our main priorities. If you place your pride into something, that means you value that something and thus make it one of your priorities. You’re willing to devote your time, energy, resources, and money (except your mortgage) to it so you can experience that pride. Being a part of my cousin’s newborn son’s life is a priority to me because I value him and his future. If I make him want to strive to reach his full potential by participating in his development, then I will certainly pride myself on that because I have in turn shown him an example of what he should value. Now I still love music and obviously like to look as fly as I can when I dress but I value my baby cousin’s life more. Consider what you pride yourself on. Regardless of what it is, I just hope you don’t spend your mortgage on it.