Completely Lost

“Once they get a hit of this, they hooked like that twitter sh*t.” – “Water Break,” J Cole

A hacker attack on August 6th shut down the fast-growing messaging service Twitter. Twitter said in its blog Thursday that it was "defending against a denial-of-service attack," in which hackers command scores of computers to a single site at the same time, preventing legitimate traffic from getting through. For Twitter users, the outage meant no tweeting about lunch plans, the weather or the fact that Twitter is down…The site still had lingering access problems midday, though both Twitter and Facebook seemed to be functioning at least intermittently, giving cubicle-bound social media addicts a collective sigh of relief. Allison Koski, a public-relations manager in Manhattan, said she felt "completely lost" without Twitter. "I had to Google search Twitter to find out what was going on, when normally my Twitter feed gives me all the breaking news I need," Koski said. – from the Associated Press

What do you feel completely lost without? Your Blackberry, iPod, laptop, cell phone? I’ve lived in three different places and two different cities over the course of two years. When searching for an apartment, one of the first amenities I look for is wireless Internet service. One way to find out what you can’t live without is by identifying the first thing you do when you’re in to a new place or when you’re assessing something (i.e. an apartment complex’s amenities). Checking to see if my laptop can pick up an unsecured wireless network is one of the first things I do when I move into a new place. A friend of mine updates his Facebook status EVERY TIME he does something new. It’s the first thing he does when he’s in a new place (i.e. in class, studying, on the way to somewhere, etc) so I can only imagine how he would respond if Facebook was shut down for an extended period of time.

Reading Allison Koski’s comments about Twitter made me wonder how many of us feel dependent upon material and external things to keep us from feeling “completely lost.” I recognize we use Twitter and our Blackberries to stay connected with others and help organize our lives but I believe the problem arises when we feel “completely lost” without these things. “These things” do not necessarily have to be related to technology or the Internet. According to dictionary.com, lost can be defined as forfeiting the possession of something, bringing to destruction, and using to no purpose. Considering the definition of what it means to be lost, maybe we are literally using our lives to no purpose or forfeiting the possession of our lives to the things that we feel dependent upon when we are deprived of them.

Have you ever considered that you could be giving your power to that which you rely on? When you allow yourself to rely on someone else for your happiness, you believe happiness and peace of mind is impossible for you to attain on your own, which is an unhealthy way to live your life. In my experience, I have learned that you will likely become disappointed and hurt if you depend on other people and external things because you will get let down, you will look around and no one will be there, you will realize that people may not regard you how you regard them, you will see people for who they really are and/or you will learn that everything is not what it seems. I encourage you to ask yourself “Who and what should I really be dependent upon?” because that is a question only you can answer. One of my favorite quotes states “Indeed all that is most worthy in man he must work out and conquer for himself” and only you can conquer the belief that you need anything outside of yourself to complete you. I am not trying to warn you against depending on your best friend to take you to the airport or relying on CNN to inform you on what’s going on in the world nor am I criticizing users of Twitter, but recognize the fact we may be literally giving our lives away when we allow ourselves to become addicted and dependent upon anything that cannot and will not fulfill us within like only you can. So stop relying on Twitter to inform your loved ones on how you are doing for one day and call them personally instead.

Incarcerate or Educate

First-generation college minority students who start at four-year institutions are at a high risk of leaving without bachelor's degrees, particularly if they are lower-income. A recent paper, "Institutional Transfer and the Management of Risk in Higher Education," presented at the American Sociological Association national meeting by its authors, by Regina Deil-Amen and Sara Goldrick-Rab, illustrates what sets them apart from those disadvantaged students who do leave with degrees. Deil-Amen and Goldrick-Rab suggest the likeliest reason is that students who stay enrolled at four-year institutions had four important resources: guidance in developing their college plans, clear goals, advocates pushing them to earn bachelor's degrees, and an ability to find academic and financial help. The authors' findings are based on interviews conducted over three years with 44 students who graduated from the Chicago Public Schools and enrolled immediately in four-year colleges. All of the students interviewed were black or Hispanic, and most were low-income and first-generation college students.

This study is being released at the perfect time considering the fact that we are in the midst of several states reviewing and modifying their budgets due to our economy. Some states are cutting the money that would otherwise go towards financial aid programs to save funds. For example, Illinois officials are telling low-income students who receive the state's need-based grants to expect no help in the spring because money will run out. The state of Massachusetts’ financial aid budget was cut 10 percent, resulting in officials making deep cuts to aid programs in the state. Philadelphia is currently reviewing its state budget and Bill Cosby has lent his voice to advocate for education urging lawmakers to avoid making cuts. Cosby argues that it costs more for a young person to go to prison versus going to school; $5,000 to educate compared to $33,000 to incarcerate.

I understand Cosby’s argument in that there are obviously more benefits in a young person choosing education over a lifestyle that will lead them to incarceration. However, young people may not be able to even entertain the option of continuing their education due to the risen costs and increasing lack of financial aid. The Deil-Amen and Goldrick-Rab study shows the importance of financial aid to first-generation minority students from low incomes. By cutting the aid these students desperately need, states are increasing the likelihood their youth will turn to other options rather than education which will not yield the results that those who are fortunate enough to continue their education will enjoy. Are we setting first generation students up for failure? What message is being sent to the youth who have the intelligence and character to be successful in college but are denied due to a lack of money? What effect does this have on one’s development?

These students who cannot attend college will not be able to find a quality employment and will have to settle for mediocre jobs if they can find them. Imagine how this can impact one’s outlook on life. What if their families are in a situation where they must depend on the student to bring money to the household? What if I’m a student in Illinois receiving the state’s grants in the fall but not in the spring causing me to withdraw from college? What if a student and his/her parents depend on the student’s on-campus job to help pay the parents’ mortgage but the student has to drop out of college due to no financial aid and thus loses their job? There are many what ifs that can be posed but the magnitude of these decisions surrounding money need to be considered. I believe that’s what Cosby is asking Philadelphia lawmakers to think about as they decide on a final budget. Erik Arneson, spokesman for PA Senate Majoirty Leader Dominic Pileggi, said "I have nothing but respect for Mr. Cosby, but our members are much more interested in what their constituents have to say than in what Mr. Cosby believes” in an Associated Press article. Well, I hope these constituents and YOU believe in education over incarceration.

Except Your Mortgage

“I give a damn if a fan recall my legacy, I’m trying to live my life in the sight of God’s memory.” – Mos Def, “Thieves in the Night”

I was recently visiting my cousin and her newborn son, who was knocked out in his mother’s arms a majority of time, and we found ourselves choosing HBO after watching HGTV for awhile. “What Happens in Vegas” starring Ashton Kutcher and Cameron Diaz had just started playing and my cousin wanted to watch it because she enjoyed the movie. In one of the early scenes of the film, Jack played by Kutcher has a brief sexual encounter with a woman that seems to be what some would call a “friend with benefits.” Afterwards before she leaves Jack’s apartment, the woman tells him something along the lines of him not being the monogamous type and he proudly replies “I pride myself on that” with a smile on his face. I shook my head and looked over at my cousin’s newborn son sleeping soundly. I wondered what he will pride himself on in the future, knowing his values will be at the foundation at every decision he will make as an adult including how he spends his money.

Chicago salon owner and shoe collector Melo Rosario spends his money on his sneaker collecting hobby. Featured in CNBC’s 2008 documentary on Nike, Rosario discussed his love for sneakers with CNBC reporter Darren Rovell (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nHghbISdRHA). Rosario owns over 350 pairs of sneakers which Rovell credited to Rosario’s “obsession” with his sneaker collection that he spends $1000-2000 a month on. When asked how much of his disposable income was spent on shoes at the height of his “craze,” Rosario said “All of it except for my mortgage.” I am not criticizing Rosario’s hobby or “obsession” of adding to his sneaker collection nor anyone else who has hobbies like these because I have a collection of my own: CDs. I can relate to the pride that Rosario displayed when he was showing his collection to Rovell because I felt the same way when people would look at my collection and complement my taste in music. Like Rosario prided himself on his sneakers, I prided myself on my music.

Dictionary.com defines pride as a high or ordinate opinion of one’s own dignity, importance, merit or superiority; a becoming or dignified sense of what is due to oneself or one’s position or character; pleasure or satisfaction taken in something done by or belonging to oneself or believed to reflect credit upon oneself. Rosario didn’t make the 350+ pairs of shoes he owns nor did I make or record the music that I was prideful about so why should I feel so prideful about it since it was not my music? Even though the people you surround with may harbor these beliefs and our culture may promote otherwise, the fact is knowing every Gucci Mane lyric, owning material things like shoes, having sexual escapades, and anything else along these lines does not contribute to one’s dignity, importance, merit or character. We can find pleasure and satisfaction in these things, but should being lovers of pleasure be at the height of what we pride ourselves on?

I find it hard to believe that any of us were put on this Earth for those things to be our main priorities. If you place your pride into something, that means you value that something and thus make it one of your priorities. You’re willing to devote your time, energy, resources, and money (except your mortgage) to it so you can experience that pride. Being a part of my cousin’s newborn son’s life is a priority to me because I value him and his future. If I make him want to strive to reach his full potential by participating in his development, then I will certainly pride myself on that because I have in turn shown him an example of what he should value. Now I still love music and obviously like to look as fly as I can when I dress but I value my baby cousin’s life more. Consider what you pride yourself on. Regardless of what it is, I just hope you don’t spend your mortgage on it.

Published Disposition

A deep disposition has been distributed to the masses. Copy & paste the link below to read my recently published column entitled "New-to-School rather than Back-to-School" from the Raleigh, NC based News & Observer. I give advice to parents of incoming college freshmen based on my undergrad experience. Please share your feedback!

http://www.thedurhamnews.com/viewpoints/story/198890.html

Blind Visionary

Efram’s Wolff’s incredible piece that he made for Stevie Wonder’s classic 1973 album, Innervisions, illustrates Wonder as a “blind visionary” seeing profoundly greater than his fellow human beings, the majority of which ironically possess the vision that Wonder was born without. How unsurprising it is that this album is now rightfully regarded as one of the greatest albums of all time because Wonder’s visions could not have been more accurate. Wonder effectively commented on the world as he saw it and caused his listeners to think on how they may be contributing to the issues of the economy, environment, drug abuse, racism, war, politics, and spirituality he found in the world. With lyrics like “Are you standing for everything you talk about?” and “If we don’t change the world will soon be over,” Wonder’s commentary and insight was so penetrating and powerful that his work is still relevant today.

Innervisions is an example of what I like to call deep disposition, the kind of mental and emotional outlook that can be so heavy that it has an effect on the outlook of others. The reason these deep dispositions have the effect they do is because we often find that we agree with or can relate to where the person is coming from. We see what they see and hear what they hear; our eyes and ears just needed to be exposed to it. I think it’s more likely for you get to this place once you have an understanding of the person’s intentions behind their disposition. Wonder’s intentions behind Innervisions can be found in its second track, “Visions” where Wonder expresses his longing to live in a world “where hate’s a dream and love forever stands.”

My intentions behind Deep Disposition are to identify the issues that I believe prevent us as human beings from reaching our full potential, to enhance your perspective by sharing mine, to encourage you to analyze before you accept, and to inspire deep dispositions of your own as you reflect on the world. In the event that I do achieve or fail to achieve any of these intentions, I ask you to share your thoughts whether you agree or disagree with mine. I don’t profess to have all the answers but what I do profess to have is an outlook that can help us find an answer and I’ll share other outlooks that I believe can help as well. Here’s to finding these answers that we are in search of and becoming blind visionaries of our own with deep dispositions that result in us changing our current condition.

P.S. I want to thank a blind visionary friend of mine for the inspiration, Mr. AJ Donaldson.